Total randomness

[zouzounaki]

Hm. Trying out a new layout for a little while, just to mix things up a little. Rather like it and now I can switch between this and the X-Men one. Also decided on the Hard Day's Night moodtheme though I change those as often as I change my, well, mood so... But it looks cute!

I'm desperately trying to stay afloat these days, with what feels like a breakdown kind of edging its way towards me. I'm holding on though and I think the fact that I recognize all this and am trying to fix it (taking more sleeping pills so I don't get into the pattern of not sleeping at all, which is horrid!) or at least avoid the worst. The real kicker is that I'm not even sure what's doing me in! I mean, granted, Mandy's death really hit me hard and I was extremely depressed afterwards but this is on a whole other level. Thinking back on it, it began a while ago, with me getting angry with my sister really over nothing; I can see the seeds beginning there.

I worry most about "losing" my writing, the total inability for weeks, sometimes months, to write a word let alone a sentence I'm happy with. But then, that was inevitable because I'd been so into it over the Christmas season. These dry spells, they just get me so down because before I had my breakdown, I was just writing constantly, there was never a time where I took time out. Ah well, that I think I just have to elave to nature to sort out. I am very proud with my HHafterHours Cotard meets a genie Secret Santa challenge fic; think I might be posting it here in the near future.

Anyhoo, off to watch my newly acquired Highlander: The Complete Series DVDs, whooo hooo!

Peace y'all, Ghani

Comments

[iansmomesq.livejournal.com]

Hugs and Much Methosness to you. Just don't watch when Tessa dies. It'll make you feel worse, LOL. Just kidding.

I love the new layout, too.

[ghanistarkiller.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear Lord, how I cried and cried when Tessa bit it! And Richie too, of course but he popped back up so no real loss there! But then, Father Darius! And then there was Anne; what a dud she was and, IIRC, she survived. Pneh.

Thinking I'll skip to the later seasons: Amanda, Joe and Methos as regulars, Cassandra and Kronos. Oh, what great stuff!

Mmm, thanks for the Methosness! *ggg*

Peace, Ghani

[iansmomesq.livejournal.com]

*DAAAAAARRRRRIIIIIUUUUSSSSSSS!*

*cries*

[dreamybritactor.livejournal.com]

First of all, I want to tell you how much I LOVE your new layout. It is simply wonderful! Do you have a jpeg of your background that you could send to me or put in a reply? I love it!

Second of all, I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling. I hate not feeling in control of my body and I know you feel the same way too. It is hard to keep going sometimes, but go on we must. When times get tough, I think of things that make me happy.

As hard as it is, sometimes it is best to look on the good side of things even if sometimes there seems to be no good side. Take Care, remember we are here for you and care for you very deeply. Hugs!!!

[ghanistarkiller.livejournal.com]

First of all, I want to tell you how much I LOVE your new layout. It is simply wonderful!

Thankee muchly! I've been wanting to do something Pirate's Daughter with the layout for a while; I've been slowly collecting pics etc. :-D

Do you have a jpeg of your background that you could send to me or put in a reply? I love it!

Sure thing: Clicky here (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/Evenstar54/Star%20Wars%20Weekends/map.jpg)

Second of all, I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling. I hate not feeling in control of my body and I know you feel the same way too. It is hard to keep going sometimes, but go on we must. When times get tough, I think of things that make me happy.

Exactly. It's the difference between just laying down to die or getting up and fighting, which is hard and painful but so worth the happiness you get out of it! And to just think about something that makes me happy just for five minutes and to feel that gradually coming back until it's more than five minutes until it starts to be good again, that really does help!

As hard as it is, sometimes it is best to look on the good side of things even if sometimes there seems to be no good side.

I know that you know this better than anyone else I know so I can't tell you how much I value your friendship and support! :-)

Take Care, remember we are here for you and care for you very deeply. Hugs!!!

Backatcha! :-)

Peace, Ghani

P.S. My icon makes me happy ;-)