Total randomness
Jan. 18th, 2006 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zouzounakiHm. Trying out a new layout for a little while, just to mix things up a little. Rather like it and now I can switch between this and the X-Men one. Also decided on the Hard Day's Night moodtheme though I change those as often as I change my, well, mood so... But it looks cute!
I'm desperately trying to stay afloat these days, with what feels like a breakdown kind of edging its way towards me. I'm holding on though and I think the fact that I recognize all this and am trying to fix it (taking more sleeping pills so I don't get into the pattern of not sleeping at all, which is horrid!) or at least avoid the worst. The real kicker is that I'm not even sure what's doing me in! I mean, granted, Mandy's death really hit me hard and I was extremely depressed afterwards but this is on a whole other level. Thinking back on it, it began a while ago, with me getting angry with my sister really over nothing; I can see the seeds beginning there.
I worry most about "losing" my writing, the total inability for weeks, sometimes months, to write a word let alone a sentence I'm happy with. But then, that was inevitable because I'd been so into it over the Christmas season. These dry spells, they just get me so down because before I had my breakdown, I was just writing constantly, there was never a time where I took time out. Ah well, that I think I just have to elave to nature to sort out. I am very proud with my HHafterHours Cotard meets a genie Secret Santa challenge fic; think I might be posting it here in the near future.
Anyhoo, off to watch my newly acquired Highlander: The Complete Series DVDs, whooo hooo!
Peace y'all, Ghani
I'm desperately trying to stay afloat these days, with what feels like a breakdown kind of edging its way towards me. I'm holding on though and I think the fact that I recognize all this and am trying to fix it (taking more sleeping pills so I don't get into the pattern of not sleeping at all, which is horrid!) or at least avoid the worst. The real kicker is that I'm not even sure what's doing me in! I mean, granted, Mandy's death really hit me hard and I was extremely depressed afterwards but this is on a whole other level. Thinking back on it, it began a while ago, with me getting angry with my sister really over nothing; I can see the seeds beginning there.
I worry most about "losing" my writing, the total inability for weeks, sometimes months, to write a word let alone a sentence I'm happy with. But then, that was inevitable because I'd been so into it over the Christmas season. These dry spells, they just get me so down because before I had my breakdown, I was just writing constantly, there was never a time where I took time out. Ah well, that I think I just have to elave to nature to sort out. I am very proud with my HHafterHours Cotard meets a genie Secret Santa challenge fic; think I might be posting it here in the near future.
Anyhoo, off to watch my newly acquired Highlander: The Complete Series DVDs, whooo hooo!
Peace y'all, Ghani
