Weapons of Class Destruction

Peace, Ghani

The ESRB's summary of its rating for Mass Effect 2 (the first game, if you're not aware, caused a stir because of a--at most--seventeen second long sex scene in which the screen flashes and you see hardly anything except, if you're playing a female version of the lead character, your own pixelated side-boob):

Rating: Mature

Content descriptors: Blood, Drug Reference, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Violence

Rating summary:
In this action role-playing game, players' objective is to defeat an alien enemy that is silently abducting entire human colonies. Players must assemble a team of henchmen, command a space ship, and travel to distant planets across a futuristic galaxy. At its core, the game involves a combination of conversation/interaction with characters, and ground-based (i.e., "run-and-gun") space battle: Players use assault rifles, submachine guns, shotguns, and pistols to kill humans, robots, and aliens in the frenetic third-person firefights. Some enemies emit large splashes of blood when shot (particularly with "head shots"); several enemies lie stagnant in pools of blood—factors for the Mature rating. Henchmen are able to freeze and shatter enemies, engage in melee attacks, set robots on fire, and use telekinesis to disable aliens. A handful of cutscenes depict dramatic interrogations in which human characters are threatened, punched, kicked, and shot (in the leg) by alien creatures. The game contains themes of illicit drug use, addiction, and trafficking—often focal points to the branching storylines; for example, "Morinth likes dancing while on a drug called Hallex," "Narcotics flooded my veins when I attacked," and "The asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying." During the course of the game, players may enter a bar where alien pole dancing exists (choreography highlighted on big-screen monitors) or hear suggestive comments such as "krogan sexual deviants enjoy salarian flexibility" and "if this is just about sex, maybe you should just f**king say so." Players can also choose to have "romantic encounters" with the alien/human henchmen characters; this involves watching a guided cutscene in which two characters flirt, kiss, and/or embrace: clothed alien/human characters may prop a partner on top of a space console, clear away the clutter from a bed-slab, unzip a future-blouse, or just talk it out. Though an alien/human may gyrate her hips while on top (fleeting—one-to-two seconds), actual sex is never depicted—the camera cuts away to space furniture and ceilings.

I added the italics there on the space-blouse because, truly, that's one of the most insanely hilarious things I've ever read!

Peace, Ghani

Where to start? 'Twas a good weekend for fandom, mine at least. Highlander: The Source aired and probably the less said about the actual movie, the better. Now, I'm not a snob, I love those movies, especially the last one where I geeked out with both Connor and Duncan, but this was kinda meh. The end made me groan and roll my eyes. Make love, not war, baby, was the message of the day, but I watch Highlander to begin with to see guys gettin' thar heads cut off! And Methos really was a total dick in this one, as Duncan points out; what der hey? And once again Amanda was just a no-show. And Joe, oh Joe! How I cried! We didn't actually see Methos' death, so I remain convinced that he's still alive, somewhere hiding again. They definitely left it open. I'd always hoped that if Methos ever died, his quickening would be astonomical, but since they were all mortal by the end of the movie and he was offscreen...shrug. I had to laugh, too, at Duncan recounting the many mortal companions he'd lost over the years, which amounted to all of about three, when his fallen immortal comrades number in the twenties, ha! I still enjoyed it, I have to say, but I would do just because of what it was.

Terry O'Quinn finally took home an Emmy, yay! Go, Team Locke! And Michael Emmerson just looked so handsome and so cute! And in other exciting LOST news, we just read that Jeff Fahey will be joining the cast next season! Jeff freakin' Fahey! SQUEE! Now, granted, the idea that they're going to be adding yet more cast members shows not only a complete and total ignorance to and inability to gauge fan reactions and learn from one's mistakes (they've tried it once in the second season and again in the third. From the new groups they've introduced only one character remains. Yup, just the one). Now, see, we wouldn't mind so much if they remained in the background, but the creators--bless 'em because I love 'em--insist on these new creation taking up valuable screen time more established characters could be enjoying. Juliet had far more screen time than, say, Sayid last season which isn't as bad as Nicki and Paulo--shudder--having their own episode! I really don't understand why they feel the need to do this every season! There's been no news on Nestor Carbonell's return to the show after the initial announcement that CBS wasn't willing to let him do it. I can only hope his show bombs (isn't that mean of me, but I need my Alpert fix!) in time to go film some episodes!

K-Ville premiered last night and was interesting mostly for its setting and not necessarily for its story, so I don't know how long it's going to last. Kudos to FOX for actually writing a biography of Cole Hauser without one mention of Pitch Black, from wence about 85% of his fans come and one of the only movies he's had a starring role in.

According to Outpost Gallifrey, Torchwood had the largest audience of any BBCAmerica drama premiere evah. Torchwood FTW! Between Burn Notice blazing through the ratings and this bit of news, I must say a lot of my faith in the TV watching populace has been restored. It proves, if you make a good show and really are willing to stand behind it and get it out there (read: advertizing blitz, as both of those shows had), people will watch!

Meanwhile, in video game news, I finally got my hands on a copy of BioShock, supposedly the greatest game of the year, and i have to say I wasn't all that impressed. Now, this you must know first: I am not a fan of the FPS. I just don't like the POV. It ruined ResEvil 4 for me. And since the story and the setting were so like an adventure/survival horror game, it was doubly frustrating. I happen not to like having the first indication that I'm being shot at be a bullet barrage into my side or back. I do have peripheral vision, you know. And having to move the camera around all over the freakin' place to take int he amazing setting was infuriating. I think it stopped me from really getting into the story, too.

And this is just pure geek out on my part, but I was reading a new Doctor Who book, Forever Autumn by Mark Morris, as was overjoyed to see a mention of a Ghost Rider poster being part of a "typical twelve year-old's room," along with the likes of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Awesome.

Keep Watching the Skies, Ghani