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If you know the book, prepare to be disturbed: Eleanor from The Haunting of Hill House. Now I've thought about this a lot, actually, and others have popped up like Jane Eyre, Iris from Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister and Wendy from The Shining, and if you know any of those, that's not altogether flattering either but hell with it. I'm being honest. And, being honest, it's sort of their worst traits that I identify with.
Nell's desperate need to belong somewhere and the feeling that she's been both willfully and forcefully robbed of something all of her life are what resonate the hardest with me. There's a part in the book, not well known because neither movies use it, where she's in a diner heading toward the house. There's a little girl at the next table throwing a tantrum because she's used to drinking out of a blue cup with stars on it and doesn't want to drink out of anything else. And Nell watches and thinks to herself, 'Good. Keep throwing a fit. Don't ever let them take that cup of stars away from you, because once you surrender just that, you realize you've lost everything else.' That pretty much sums it up.
But she's not just lonely and desperate. Even as she clings to the idea of being in love with Luke, she's smart and insightful enough to realize what a child he is, how immature he behaves. And she's flirting with something deeper with Theo but that brings about a sort of nasty, competitive violence. And, like I said, this was never going to be flattering, but I'm answering the question as honestly as I could.
Peace, Ghani
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