Jan. 3rd, 2012 02:05 pm
zouzounaki: (Kitteh queen of fckn everything)
So much to do today, so many plans, and no will or energy to do it, le sigh.
zouzounaki: (Default)
Oh, True Blood. Just because I haven't seen it before, doesn't mean I ever needed to. The pacing is just so crazy off this season. I felt overwhelmed, crushed under an unpleasant pile of weirdness and one of Sookie's worst plans ever! Ah well, there are bound to be some... well, it wasn't exactly a stinker so much as it was BZUH?!

Feeling el crapola lately. I hate having a defunct brain, I hate it even more when it prevents me from doing even the fun stuff. Sighs.

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
It is true that I just cannot see myself objectively anymore. I've had friends who have said that they didn't even notice my skin condition, even after spending days with me, and I'd like to believe that. But when I look in the mirror, it's all I see, creeping all over my skin (it now covers about 70-75% of me) and I leave, well, to be gross about it, skin shavings wherever I sit. I could deal, I do deal, even though shaving my legs inevitably leads to bleeding skin and scratching can lead to an accidental peeling. (Ew. Yes, even for the person it's happening to, that's a little TMI, LOL!)

So, when I go out and am actually managing to ignore it, I don't want to answer questions like, no, it's not poison ivy, okay? And... I'm not even sure that commenting on how fine it is (like sand, according to my hair stylist, and I use that term loosely) is a... compliment? She said it three times! That's just... bad manners to me. Though I suppose I prefer it to the usual stare I get, though the stare I can at least convince myself is in my mind. Sighs.

I guess it all comes down to, what happened to manners? A kid asked my sister the other day why she "sounded like an alien," and then mugged and laughed. She sent him to sit in the corner of the room because it had already been explained that she was deaf and he was just trying to be a little snot. Don't these people's parents teach them anything? Shakes head.

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So... I've been sort of absent lately, and that's mostly because I've just felt sort of blah lately, between the heat and just general anxiety issues. Went to get my hair cut last Friday; my sister's regular hairdresser was snotty to her and I ended up with just some random woman who... really didn't seem to know what she was doing. Needless to say, it doesn't look great (which is why no pictures, when you got such lovely ones of me back in December!)

I also realized that I've basically lost all of that built up immunity I've had for going out in public, which is depressing, honestly. I used to go on trips to see my friends and do a modest amount of shopping. Sighs. I suppose, when things even out again with both mine and my sister's lives, I can start the process of building it up again, but... there it is, le sigh.

Shutter Island: A Short Review - Spoilers )

Night at The Museum 2: An Even Shorter Review - Hank Azaria, I love you! Greek kick-ass power! The movie was cute, though I'm not sure why the filmmakers thought kids'd be so captivated by the romance between Larry and Amelia Earhart. A nice way to spend a couple of hours, not outstanding but pleasant.

Alice in Wonderland - You Guessed It, A short Review - Loved it. Was surprised at how much I loved it, even though everyone I know recommended it. I adore Mia Wasikowska. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter was excellent!

Haven't gotten out to see any of the summer movies (see: above). Was hoping to see Prince of Persia or A-Team (my childhood demanded it!), but it didn't happen. Last Air Bender is still on the horizon and of course Harry Potter!

True Blood 3x01: spoilers )

Doctor Who: Love, love, love the new season. Matt Smith, you are a wonder! And to think I ever doubted you or Karen Gillan! It took a bit for the season to get going, in my opinion, but it's been absolutely divine since "Time of the Angels"! Oh and River Song! I could not love you more, though I already do from what I knew of you in last season, and I'd thought that was impossible back then!

Peace, Ghani

So. Yeah.

May. 19th, 2010 02:33 pm
zouzounaki: (Default)
I haven't been around much, which is my shame. I... just don't even know what's going on anymore. It started with my stomach, and that got pretty nasty (with a night spent throwing up in colors that you never ever want to see leaving your mouth) and that remained hurty, but now it's not just that, be it ulcer or not, but a severe lack of sleep. It's like I'm going through a breakdown in slow motion. (Quite a bit like it actually.)

I'm trying to pull myself out of it, but the physical symptoms and mainly the sleep deprivation just sort of keeps sinking me back down. and I got my period on top of everything, joy! Aunt Flo is always a welcome addition to any crappy situation! xP

Anywho, this is what's been going on, and I'm sorry if I've been a nonentity lately. Hugs to you all!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
Okay, so I totally fail because I'm writing here again to apologize for my fail, with not being around and all. Health issues continue. Apparently, the food poisoning was the last straw with my stomach, because I seem to have a shiny new bleeding ulcer now! Understandably, I'm not feeling my best, and my allergies are acting up besides. Ah, spring! And an ulcer.

As for LOST--Ricardo, mi amor! Ghani approves of romance novel cover!Richard, and of Isabelle and what turned into a very touching story with a very pro-active Jacob!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, if you look down at the fast food burger you're eating, and it's so underdone it's pink, don't take four or five more bites before you decide you really oughtn't be eating it. Though I'm really, really glad if this is just food poisoning and not norovirus (the so-called cruise ship sickness that's going around my sister's office, yikes!), you better believe it!

Peace, Ghani

An update

Mar. 8th, 2010 01:54 pm
zouzounaki: (Default)
I'm still feeling exhausted, mentally but more so physically; it's hard to get my ass to do anything nowadays and I wake up feeling just as tired as when I went to sleep. My sister assures me that this is just because the both of us were so sick and we're recovering from, well, recovery, but, honestly? I haven't felt like this for a long time, since I had mono in middle school. Like I could just sleep all day and that there's not even enough energy in me to walk to the bathroom. I'm also aware that depression can make me feel this way but I don't think that's what it is; I'm feeling like I'm in a pretty good place lately. I dunno, maybe my sister's right?

In other news, congrats Kathryn Bigelow! Been a fan for a long time, don't know of any directors, male or female, who are as honest and brutal as she can be, or who have given pop culture such enduring images (Point Break, my friends; that's all I have to say. Well, that and, "Have you ever fired a gun into the air and said 'Ahhhh!?' "No, I have never fired a gun into the air and said, 'Ahhh!'!") Near Dark happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time, and Strange Days had its appeal in my teenage years.

Also, tell me, LOSTie friends o' mine, am I the only one who thinks that the only thing Sayid has ever truly wanted and died in his arms is not, in fact, boring ol' Nadia but Shannon? We know Maggie Grace will guest star later this season, and that Cuse and Lindeloff have said that they ahd a "really interesting story" for her, which means she won't just be passing someone on a street. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it seems as if all the fans I know in real life give me the blank stare when I bring it up, like it's never even occurred to them and they can't even remember that that was how Shannon died.... shrugs. It's be awesome.

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, I got to talk about it with my sister after she came home last night, and she told me that the doctor had assured her that what she suffered yesterday was not a pulmonary embolism, and that that won't be a side effect of her fibrosis; though she still might have one, it's not going to be a direct result from the fibrosis. The doctor did tell her that if it had been anyone else, she would have sent her to the hospital, sighs. But she prescribed her some meds, which she hasn't filled, and told her to call over the weekend if anything happens. She's going to get a CT scan now if I have to sell a kidney, which realistically might be the only way we can pay for it, sighs.

Anyhoo, for brighter news, I did get my copy of Mass Effect 2 yesterday, yay! And played, and played and played. I don't think it's the greatest game ever; they improved a lot from the first game, like getting rid of that stupid ass land rover, the Mako, hallelujah! But they've also gotten rid of the inventory system, and made it impossible to shoot crates--you need to use a biotic power, which means taking control of another character if you yourself don't have biotic powers... Just, sighs.

Okay, I'm a twelve year old because the most fun I had was playing around in my captain's cabin in my brand spankin' new spaceship. I liked watching my fish in the aquarium and feeding 'em, I liked playing with my musical choices (hm, insistent techno, urgent techno or pounding techno? By the way, why no ambient? I'm trying to relax, aren't I? Where's my future-Yanni?!) And, of course, flushing my future-toilet. Oh, and the funny glossy 8x10 of Kaidan (the character who I knocked boots with in the first game) on my desk, ahaha! I don't think it was meant to be funny, but it was so win!

They changed the POV, though, so it's more overt the shoulder, which I know people who are used to FPS love, but I just don't care for. It feels like I'm trying to maneuver a tank, not make a person walk and talk and forget trying to run with my gun drawn, oy!

So, not awful. And, keep in mind, these are similar complaints to what I thought of Dragon Age: Origins when I first started playing, and I ended up loving that game. All in all though ME2 feels rather like the sequel I strain to like just because I want to find out what happens next.

Today is the first day I've started to feel better, thank God! Still trying not to overdo anything, but hopefully this is the tail end of the flu now!

peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, I have the flu. Which seemed really bad until my sister told me this morning that she coughed up a big globule of blood. She left early for work to see the doctor who, apparently, told her that it was probably due to a combination of her fibrosis and inflammation from having the same sickness that now plagues me last week. My sister tried to make everything sound all right but, truthfully? It scares the shit out of me. Plus, on top of all of that, I have the flu, as I have mentioned. Sighs.


I'm waiting on my mailman (who's been taking freaking forever!) to see if GameFly actually sent me Mass Effect 2. Seriously, they're shipping sucks so much ass, it's ridiculous. Going to lie down now, and have some soup. I suspect I'll never want to eat soup again when I'm better! :-P

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So. We ended up not going to the Hoggetowne Medieval Faire yesterday for the second year after getting there by hook or by crook for I think it was twelve years consecutively beforehand. Which means I didn't see [ profile] aragornslove or get my fortune read for free by one of my sister's coworkers, or just generally revel in the glorious atmosphere. But, more than that, it's made me start thinking about my own state of mind in the past two years. I can make excuses, and they wouldn't be untrue, about having been sick yesterday not having the spare cash, or point out that my regular medieval faire buddy moved away two years ago. But in past years, I've literally gotten up out of my sick bed after two weeks of being bed ridden to go at least for an hour on the last day.

This leads me to examine more closely how my agoraphobia's been going through a particular rough patch: even the things I'm supposed to enjoy, that I know won't come around for another year, feel, not only like a chore, but actually are a frightening proposition. But hasn't it been this bad in the past? I suppose it has, but situations have changed (drastically, in some cases) as well. I dunno.

On the upside, I've finally gotten my sister completely addicted to True Blood, kick ass! She resisted for a long time, but I was sneaky, heh, and when they showed the first season over New Years week, I was sort of subtly putting it on until I was her start to pay attention and get interested. We watched the second season on On Demand over the weekend and she now knows the excellence that is Godric's storyline. Hearts!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
Watching Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed on TV at the moment; watched it with my sister last year but I just happened to turn the channel to it right when he's visiting Hadamar, one of the Action T4 extermination sites. It's the first time, other than my sister's book obviously, that I've seen T4 addressed in popular culture and not only is it easy to be horrified and awed by the Nazis careless disregard for life, but it's intensely moving to see Ben Stein's own quietly emotional reaction. We hear so much about the actions of the Nazis that when we interact with a part of it on a very personal level, the depth of their corruption and degradation is still shocking.

And that's my deep thought of the day. I know, gentle flisters, that I've been rather FAIL lately regarding LJ. I am reading, and I try to comment where and when I can, but I find myself feeling rather... wistful as of late, suffering from a bit of the ol' ennui. I've been inundating you with Porn Battle IX entries and for that I apologize! I've really been hoping to shake myself out of the 'blahs' by cranking out a few fanfics.

My original Porn Battle goal was to write a story a day, but from the beginning I knew that wasn't going to happen, and also, if I tried, the quality was going to suffer a bit. Now, I think people have been exceedingly nice and generous to me and I've gotten dynamite feedback, but being the little A-type perfectionist I myself am, I'm a bit disappointed with some of my own writings. On the other hand, I think I've at least approached, danced around the edges, of some of my best work. So I'd call that a win!

I'm particularly proud of my Inglourious Basterds piece (and eternally grateful to [ profile] lastwordslinger for giving me the inspiration for it!) and a little pissed at the fact that whoever archived that page of original posts somehow seemed to have skipped right over it. Sighs. So, my favorite of my pieces is now nearly impossible to find or even for someone looking to realize it exists! Poo.

Working on a Susan Pevensie/Caspian fic today. Trying desperately not to make it too dark. And not really succeeding, LOL! Yes, I'm one of those who have more than a slight problem with Lewis' treatment of Susan and that keeps sort of leaking into it. I still want to get that Lancelot/Morgana one done before PB ends as well. Heather Dale's Exile (also the prompt - exiles) is making for the perfect muse but i think I might actually be smutting myself out, bwahahahaha!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
+ [ profile] shipotl, thank you for the card! Hugs!

+ I'm trying to get a review of Doctor Who: The End of Time up, but probably won't do until the second part airs, at which time my feeling will have probably radically changed! Ah well!

+ Talking with my sister, I realized I probably have a urinary tract infection, yuck! I've just been sick in general lately and have to go to the doc's when she comes back from vacation (next week, urgh!) for an antibiotic anyway, le sigh.

+ Being Human starts soon, squee! Still not sure how I'm gonna view it, but excited nonetheless! As a matter of fact, quite a few shows are coming back at the beginning of January, so it's going to be fandom-palooza soon!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
Insomnia kicking my ass; took pill that makes me groggy last night and am predictably groggy, but I also slept. Think I'll try it for a few more nights until I become so groggy I don't function; hopefully it'll be enough to break my current sleep pattern. In the meantime, enjoy some moments of Boosh zen straight from Dave Brown's (Bollo) Twitter!

Hat Brothers on Twitpic Pre show stretching on Twitpic Wierd uncle Rich, his wife & son on Twitpic
Easily confused on Twitpic Boosh Bandit on Twitpic

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, suffering from a wicked bout of insomnia at the moment; worried about coherency, which is why I've been scarce on the internet the past few days. Visiting a few of my favorite internet haunts this morning, some that I don't visit a lot for various reasons, and was reminded of how hard Noel and Mike Fielding rock the world! From Noel's official Twitter:

my brother dreamed I was trapped inside a huge solid gold greyhound on wheels wearing a poncho with my face sticking out. I love him.

I bloody love that man. Going to go lie down now, if I'm lucky take a little nap-nap.

Peace, my brothas and sistahs
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, what have I been up to the past couple of days? Certainly I haven't been keeping up around here like I usually like to, so I apologize for that. My sister came home from work early on her birthday (Thursday) because she was feeling ill and now it seems as if she's got the flu, which is bad news with her immune system and worse news in that it seems to have moved into her lungs. She lost her voice and could barely speak (and no bratty little sibling comments about that, heh!) and really just wanted to have a lie down. We celebrated what she called her birthday de facto the next day, watched a Psycho sequel (don't ask--they're her favorite movies, obviously the original Hitchcock but also the really crappy sequels made in the 80s), The Invisible Man Returns (I've seen many a classic Universal monster movie but this one was just... boring as snot!) and The Invisible Woman (not boring--quite fun, in fact!) I made her a lovely cake, if I do say so myself, especially because I'm crap at baking and have never attempted angel food cake previously.

Thing is, on Friday, I woke up all... wrong, and was even prepared to pick a fight with my sister, which she seemed to sense and we almost got at each other. Luckily, she went to the grocery store with my brother, I had a good cry at nothing, and I felt better afterward. I can't tell if I'm getting sick or if this is the work of that dastardly Tranzene, which I've lowered the dosage on again and I'm suffering quite a bit of withdrawal from. We had a good day of it anyway.

And then today, well, I finally went to get my glasses replaced. For anyone who doesn't know, my glasses fell apart. And my spare pair were ruined when my sister's dog dragged me face first into a nearby brick wall. Well, I twisted them back into something resembling their right shape, though that's thrown the screw off, and it was just obvious I needed a new pair. JC Penny's was running a special and though it was a scrape to say the very least to afford it and food at the same time, I was tumbled out of bed this morning and off we went to the mall before these fall apart as well. And then they told us it'll be one to two weeks. I'm assuming this is a Penny's thing as I've never waited that long for glasses in my life! So I'm struggling to keep these together just a liiiitle while longer and see through one lens that is mostly scratched up.

For fun, we had a look-see around the neighboring Halloween store. The life-size zombies scared the crap out of me and, uncharacteristically of my post eleven years-old years, I wouldn't go near them. And all the women's costumes were sexy this and sexy that. Rolls eyes. If I wanted that, I'd just go to X Mart, thank you very much! Though they did have this awesome V from V for Vendetta costume and I wants it now! I seem to have totally lost my train of thought and I'm just babbling now 'cause I'm tired and I'm feeling a bit... Well, it can only be described as 'oogie.'

The moral of the story? Er, don't get overpriced porn costumes at Halloween stores when you can get them directly from a lingerie store? I know I had a point at one point... xP Or, I like to think I did. And it's really, really depressing to post a meme and get no responses. That's a completely separate point, but still a valid one. I think I'll go lie down while I can fool myself into thinking I'm still ahead!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
Way TMI )

But, as always, I hate to end on such a down note, so here's a Merlin fanvid, using "Lancelot" from Spamalot and, not surprisingly seeing as this is one of my posts, centering on Lancelot! xP

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, we began in earnest to clear out our roach-infested garage of our possible roach-infested clutter yesterday. I was surprised at what a difference just one box made (and that it was one I was concerned about because it had a lot of important stuff in it, most of which made it through). But it got me thinking. Because I told my brother and sister to throw out a fair bit of all of that cutesy little mess I used to have lining my shelves, all of the junk I'd accumulated for one reason or another: fast food cups full of pens and little favors people had given me. Unfortunately, my cup of thumb tacks which means no hanging posters for me for a little while, until I can buy some more. It was quite a collection, sighs.

When we moved out of the house, I had clutched to that stuff so desperately. After all, moving from one house to another just three years before, I had just transported all that stuff from one place to another and set up my space, you know? But it's just sat, for better or for worse, in the garage these past four years. And it's made me wonder about my waning attachment.

This can be seen as good: certainly it's practical, and my sister even told me she was proud of me for it. But on a deeper emotional level, what's happening? Should I be worried that the things that used to comfort and define my personal space hold only the fading resonance of sentimentality to me? My room still remains more or less bare, and to me that's sort of symbolized the rut I've been in; sure, it's great my mind isn't cluttered, right? But what about all of that interesting mess, the eccentric defining and decorating of personal space. Am I ready to start anew, ready to begin collecting more and different types of things, or is this the perfect external example of my own discomfort within my own skin?

Sometimes it genuinely feels like I'm moving forward, but most of the time I feel like I'm stuck, like a skipping record. My indifference to see all of that stuff go, rather than feel refreshing or cleansing or whatever, made me feel more uncertain. Made me realize it's been a long, long time since I not only felt comfortable with my surroundings, but within my own body--the worse problem.

On a side note, no one should have to suffer debilitating PMS twice in one month, for that is the very definition of suckage!

Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, what I thought was a simple cold is probably now either a massive infection or the flu. I'm surviving though, despite the weather (it's been raining and in the 60's here, in May, in Florida! Delightful, yes, but really hard on the allergies!) and it feels like I'm finally coming out the other end now.

Helping me to recover on Monday was a wonderful visit by me good buddy [ profile] jadeblood and her friend Danielle (whom it was so excellent to meet as I'd heard so much about her and she was as sweet and awesome as I knew she'd be!) down in Gainesville for a vaycay, whooooo hoooooo! I received the gift of many books (kick ass! Including the first four Dark Tower novels!) and we basically chillaxed on my couch, playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance (with many an innuendo had as to the male character's macho declarations because, well, we're us!) and talked everything from Supernatural to RP to X-Men to our insanely demanding plot bunnies for both fanfic and original material!

I actually lost my voice sometime in the late afternoon and it took many cough drops and a glass of orange juice to get me back to sounding like something other than a hesitant Minnie Mouse! (And I'm really, really hoping I didn't get ya sick, Jadey! I know you're on the road today so I hope when you see this, you're not dripping like a faucet and hacking up a storm!) I unleashed the power of my awesome Lois Griffin impersonation (seriously, it's almost exactly the way I used to speak when I was a kid!) nonetheless, but my Invader Zim was questionable and I just couldn't get my Doctor Orpheus voice out!

We were being big silly goobers and I had such amazing fun! *Tackles!*

And, [ profile] moetushie! I missed your birthday, a big 'un, too, little Miss Legal You! Well, I sent ya a vgift, but I wanted to get ya something else, too. Something handmade, from the heart...


Peace, Ghani
zouzounaki: (Default)
So, today my sister was unofficially diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, the official diagnosis will come soon when she sees a specialist but our doctor's certain. Which is what we were scared about. In short, the scar tissue in her lungs is building up in such a way that it's restricting her air passages; it's treatable, but not reversible, so the question is how quickly is it advancing? Once we determine that, we'll know how she's going to be treated. This will all lead to a lung transplant in what I hope ends up being the far future, but she's just always been so sick.

So just... pray for her, if you can spare a thought.


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Jean: A Legend In My Own Mind

March 2017

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